Baby, Please.

One year ago today, I was siting in a restaurant when the most loving, patient man I’ve ever met got on a knee and asked me to be his wife. It was surreal. Unexpected. Life-changing. But not in the typical, fairytale story sort of way.

I almost said no.

You see, my life has never been “normal.” Never “planned” or “ideal.” It’s been different. Unique, even. A rollercoaster since the day I decided it was time to leave home.
Yet…

Through every joyful time, every hardship, every heartache, every sleepless night, every milestone.. I’ve known it was for a reason. I’ve known God has called me to more. To a different lifestyle/path/journey.

I know, I know. Cliché. But really…

I’ve been thinking about it a lot, lately, this life of mine. The choices I’ve made, the impossible days, and wonder: Why? How?

There were days I didn’t know where I was going to sleep, or how I was going to pay for gas.

But God.

Yes, I could have gone home. But I knew it was never the answer, that God had a bigger plan, some way to form me into who I was called to become.

I look around now and watch my old friend’s lives. Some, so simple and fairytale-like from a distance: Live in a godly home. Graduate High School. Find a guy. Big beautiful wedding. First house. Baby on the way. Quite often, part of me yearns for that predictability.

But now, as I sit on a cliff watching a Smoky Mountain sunset; as I smell the crisp, salty breeze and hear the lake waves crashing against the rocks at my feet… I know.

 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart.”

 (Jer. 29:11-13, NKJV)

One year ago today, I was faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life. For a half second, I was tempted to say no. Not because I didn’t love this man God sent me, but because I was finally content.

I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was my Provider, my Love, my Friend. He was my Father who ALWAYS came through. I had reached that plateau, that level of comfort and security that I’d longed for. I didn’t want to get married yet. I didn’t want my life to change.

And yet, as I looked into the hopeful eyes of the only earthly man that could ever complete me… I dove.

I dove off the plateau, into the unknown. Out of “my life,” into “ours.” Out of what I’d built, into a new direction.

Photo by Tara Pattengale Photography

I said “yes.”

I meant every syllable.

(Don’t give me that sass, I know it’s one syllable)

I chose to abandon what was finally easy and enjoy the fullness of life's winding journey, a novel written by the greatest Author time has ever known.

Since that day, life hasn’t been the same. I’ve changed my name, my address, and my perspective. I’ve gone from an Indiana Girl to a Tennessee Wife. I've loved every moment, even the rocky ones.

I’m not on that journey alone now. (Truly, I never was.) Instead, I’m beyond honored to travel this little thing called life with a righteous man as adventurous and willing to jump as I am. I wouldn’t trade a single moment.

Saying “yes” didn’t end the adventure of my crazy life. It started a new chapter.

(Obviously. Now we live in Tennessee…)

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